My husband...is a patient man.

My husband is wonderful. There are many days where I could just sit and ponder how anyone could have the patience to deal with my indecisive, erratic, and all around emotional personality. One minute I want to lay around the house playing video games, the next I want the whole house turned upside down and spotless. I get huffy when things aren't done when scheduled, and am irritated when plans get altered or changed.

I am not an easy person to live with.

My family (in particular my mom and my dad) were great with dealing with the ups and downs of my teens, but they are just that - family. There's an aspect of love that is inherent with this type of bond. For someone outside of this to look at the mess I can be and deal (on a daily basis) with it astounds me.

My husband also helps me spiritually. Our relationship together has developed a lot through our spiritual lives - from when we were first dating as secular individuals, to our marriage in a conservative fundamentalist Protestant faith, to our growth as a family in Catholicism. My husband is much better versed in the GIRM and Catechism than myself and devotes a lot of his time towards the reading books from Church Fathers and Saints, as well as praying the Liturgy of the Hours. This is not to say that my life is devoid of spiritual life, but having such a strong, supportive spouse is a blessing to have.

This is not to say that I am a completely horrendous person, nor is it the case that my husband is a man without flaws. However, I think it's good to take a bit of time everyday, and reflect on the many wonderful aspects of your spouse (even though he may not seem so wonderful at the direct moment).

I love you.

Thoughts on Impending Parenting

(Note: This post has a been brewing for several days now...I'm finally going to post it.)

I debated calling this "Thoughts on Impending Motherhood", but I hold the belief that I am a mother now. Oh, the linguistic sacrifices I do make! However, I did want to discuss more than myself in this post I suppose.

First off, I would like to make the statement that I am completely, fully, utterly, absolutely, aware of how wonderful my current situation is currently. I am blessed to have an excellent, caring husband, a house, a good paying (fun) job, good health, and a loving, supportive family. I am about to have a beautiful baby (boy?/girl?)!

However, to society this is not the ideal.

As I read this post (caution: language) I can't say that parts of it did not resonate with me. Everyone close to me (friends, family, co-workers, etc...) has been wonderfully supportive and positive in regards my pregnancy. However, since I work on a University campus, I often get pitied looks from other students and/or faculty as if their eyes were saying "look at that poor pregnant girl...she must have gotten knocked up having indiscriminate sex with a random college boy". Never mind the wedding rings on my fingers - most don't even notice them since I am admittedly under the age curve. (Quick tangent: A friend - who is my age, a few weeks further along in her pregnancy than I, and also works on the same University campus - were discussing the impending swelling in our fingers and the consequences of our wedding rings no longer fitting. Too bad I won't be able to photograph their expressions!)

I guess this is the type of train of thought we allow ourselves to get into when children are no longer a product of love, but a choice - a predetermined decision with meticulous planning.

I do confess that at one point in time, I held very similar sentiments. I wanted to live my life the way I wanted to, no strings attached. If there came a time where I felt that I wanted to settle down and have a family, then I had better have my retirement nest egg ready beforehand.

Then, I changed my mind. I realized that children are a product of mutual love between my spouse and I, and that if given the choice, I would never give up being a selfish little girl caught up in her own needs and necessities. (This is not to say that there is no sacrifice in marriage, but I think it's much more prevalent in child raising. After all, my husband can survive if I'm not home or am running late - not the same for a baby.) Even with all the money in the world, one could still say they weren't "financially stable" enough to bring children into the world - especially with the "foreboding economy". Therefore, there are always excuses to put off having children.

Really though, by having my children young it means I am better suited to keep up with them, it means they get to meet their great-grandparents, it means their parents don't have a foot in the grave by the time they graduate high school. (It also means that ten years from now, I still get to be the "young mom" which holds much cooler connotations then than it does now.)

Related, but not directly, is a true story that occurred last (last) Thursday. I was doing a photo shoot with a ten year old girl and her parents. The girl, who was curious about my pregnancy, proceeded to ask me genuine questions such as "When are you going to have the baby?" and "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?". She then asked (innocently enough) "How many children do you want to have?". I responded with "Oh, I don't know. Maybe two or three...who knows, maybe eight?" with the "maybe eight" bit in a quite joking tone of voice. Her mother then gave me quite the discriminating glare and responded with "Have you not considered the world's population?".

I don't think all the peculiar glares in the world could have infuriated me any more. To begin with, this is a person who doesn't know me from a stranger down the street (perhaps that's why it was so easy to be such a rude individual to me?). Additionally, what kind of point is she trying to make? That we should regulate how many children people are allowed to have like the Republic of China? Force abortions on individuals for the "good of the nation"? To top it all off, what kind of example is she setting for her daughter?

I'm sure my shock at such an audacious question was written all over my face, but I quickly changed the subject back to the photo shoot and that I would e-mail them pictures soon.

Yes, I did say I was going to discuss more than myself in this post (sorry, I am a bit on the self-centered side). Actually, I am going to make it a separate post. He deserves it.

Spring?! What's spring?

Tuesday: High of 53°F
Wednesday: High of 52°F
Thursday: High of 61°F
Friday: High of 85°F
Saturday: High of 88°F
Sunday: High of 92°F

Where did spring go?! We went from 50° to 90°! This town's strange climate never ceases to amaze me.

Things were pretty busy for my husband and I last week, as we worked a conference in town that took up our entire weekend. It went very smoothly, and for that I am happy.

It's going to be my birthday in a few weeks and I have a few options for what I am going to get:

1) Nikon D60 DSLR Camera
2) Sony HD Video Camera
3) Two pairs of Naot Shoes

There are pro's and cons to each.

I've had my eye on a DSLR camera seriously for only the past month or so, but it's been about a year since I've thought "hey, one of those would be really nifty to have". With it, I would be able to take much better macro photography (so the food I fix looks appetizing instead of dull and blurry), and for when my kids start running around and refusing to stay still for a picture. The quality from a DSLR camera however, is far superior to a Point and Shoot (like I have now), and therefore, (since I consider myself to be a reasonably artistic individual) I would be able to take attractive photos of my family without paying an arm and a leg to Olan Mills. The disadvantage is the hassle of carrying it around and the weight (about 3lbs), not to mention the cost (not only of the camera, but of subsequent lenses I might want to buy).

The idea of having an HD video camera has been floating around with my husband and I for about a year as well. Advantages include being able to take videos of my kids developing and at events and such. However, I personally question how much I am really going to lug around a video camera to events to take videos of things we do. We owned a pretty nice video camera for about a year and used it only occassionally. Maybe it'll be different with the baby? (The difference between carrying a video camera and a DSLR is this: I do not intend to lug my DSLR to events most of the time - I am keeping my Samsung L85 for that.) Also, my Samsung L85 will take pretty mediocre video anyway...

As far as the Naot shoes go, I do a ton of walking - at least 3 miles a day. Thus, keeping my footsies happy is a high priority.

I will continue to debate this both via Twitter, Facebook, and conversation. Please leave some feedback!

It figures...

Outside:
Inside:

Of course the day before my final, it stops raining and is beautiful.

Edit: 6:47pm
Oh how many ways can I procrastinate...
The bag was added later after I had to redraw the hand...I originally drew it upside down. :/

BBQ Pork Loin and Red Red Potatoes

I don’t think I could have asked for dinner to have gone any better than it did last night. Here’s the rundown:

First, I took out two thawed pork loins from the refrigerator and did a moist rub (consisting of kosher salt, fresh cracked pepper, dark chili powder, and extra virgin olive oil) on them. I plastic wrapped (is that proper English?) them up, and let them marinade for an hour and a half at room temperature. This may at first seem gross, but for the method of cooking I was going to use, unless you do this the meat will be too cold in the center to cook fast enough and then you’re going to either end up with the middle being raw or dry – not moist and tender like we want!

While doing this, I had a stock pot of red potatoes boiling to mash. They were then mashed (skin on) with butter (oh butter, how I have a love/hate relationship with thou!).

I then julienned (never slice!) a red onion and sautéed the pretty pieces. All the oddly shaped middle parts I had an ulterior motive for. The now caramelized red onion slices got tossed into my mashed red potatoes (see why they're called Red Red Potatoes?) and folded in with a spatula – the bowl then went into my 350° oven (kind of twice baked potato-ish!).

Now back to the pork loin! After setting out, I basted them with my favorite barbecue sauce in the WHOLE WORLD. It’s from Dunbar, West Virginia, so not only am I happy it’s so tasty, I’m supporting a small business as well! (Caveat: I promise, this is the best barbecue sauce ever. It has the perfect blend of hot and sweet, and is excellent on pork, chicken, and meatballs!) I braised the loins in the same pan that I caramelized the onions in for about ten minutes on each side. This allowed a nice crust to form on the outside of the pork loin to seal all the juices in.

Remember those ugly onion pieces I mentioned before? They went into the bottom of my pan with about a ¼ cup of water – about half the distance to the baking rack I sat in the pan. This allows steam to rise while baking keeping the meat moist during such a dry method of cooking. I added the meat to the rack, added another layer of barbeque sauce and it then went into my 350° oven for 25 minutes. The meat was then turned, basted once more, and cooked for the final 25 minutes.

Dinner went very well – we started with a baby romaine salad, and then dinner consisted of the two dishes I described making (mashed red potatoes with caramelized red onions and the barbeque pork loin) and some fresh corn I bought at Kroger the other day. Since I had guests over, I didn’t have time to take a picture of the plating – which was rather plain since I wanted everyone to eat it hot!

Of course the day I have to study for an exam is the day I have something to blog about...probably more later when I need another break.

Not too much...for now...

The past few days have been, for the most part, uneventful.

I went to the doctor Monday, and he stated that everything was going along just honky-dorey. I noticed on my chart, however, that I had gained 9 lbs. in the past month. That is not okay in my book. He reassured me though and said that it's probably just extra compensation for me losing weight in my first trimester. I am putting myself on slightly stricter diet now because of my shock. I'm going to be avoiding fried food, unnecessary sweets, etc... A nurse also said that a lot of my weight might be due to my increased intake of juice - thus my trusty Camelbak water bottle is now again at my constant side.

We're having friends over for dinner again tonight. This time the menu consists of barbequed pork loin, mashed red potatoes, and fresh corn on the cob. If I remember, I'll post pictures.

The next few days are going to be pretty busy in comparison. I've got a final exam on Friday, and my husband and I work a bi-yearly conference which is this Saturday and Sunday.

Busy is not bad though. I much prefer busy over bored.

Divine Mercy Sunday

Today, is Divine Mercy Sunday. In celebration of this, our co-parish had Saint Faustina's cousin, Sr. Paulette Honeygosky. It was a very wonderful getting to hear her speak not only in regards to her cousin, but about the importance of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy as well.

As a side note, it was a pleasant surprise that we started with Eucharist Adoration, and then Sr. Paulette spoke. My husband and I discussed that this is probably due to the fact that Fr. Kawecki likes things being done with a liturgical basis - something we are both very grateful for.

I wanted to take a moment to reflect on the love and mercy of Christ as well. The following verses are all from the morning prayer in the Magnificat (a shorter form of the Liturgy of the Hours in a sense) from last Thursday.

"Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid!" - Mark 6:50
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been similarly tested in every way, yet without sin." - Hebrews 4:15
"I will never take back my love; my truth will never fail." - Psalms 89:34

Having done the Novena of Divine Mercy has greatly increased my awareness of Christ's mercy. Due to numerous factors (including the time I spent in an ultra-conservative Protestant denomination) I feel that I had become so fearful of God that I could not experience the type of intimacy with Him that is really necessary for full faith. However, via the novena I believe I have become much closer to understanding the Divine Mercy (and Love) of Christ. I think the three verses I quoted above help to encompass what I had been missing in my shortsightedness.

The verse from Mark reminds me that I do not need to be afraid of the constant presence of God, but rather to hold him in a worshiping fashion, not out of fear, but out of love.

The verse from Hebrews makes me recall that when I sin that God understands the types of temptation that await us. Thus, he has a comprehension of how weak the body can be and why we would do anything against His Will.

Psalms tells me that the Love of God is something I can never lose - no matter how bad things can get.

This may seem very elementary (and I think I would agree that it is) but it has been a great hurdle for me over the past year - much more so than the more common stumbling block of understanding why there is suffering in the world. I am very grateful for my continuing spiritual growth, and hope to continue down this path.

Jesus, I trust in you!